The Bomb Squad
by Kikaimegami
Summary: A new team of mutants with a mission: Annoyance of everyone! Be very afraid! And please tell me if i should continue this weird thing..


Alright! Listen up!  
  
This is a story.   
  
I am writing this because I wanted to. It's not ment to offend anyone, or anything like that.  
It's not ment to infringe on any copyrights, since I'm not making any money off this (which  
would be cool if it was possible, but it ain't), and if you don't like it, bugger off.  
  
The X-Men and related characters are copyright Marvel. I'm only borrowing them. I'm sure  
they'd be more than happy to go back. Master Mold is also copyright Marvel, but after what  
I've done to him, I doubt they'd want him back. And I'm not sure if Tasha would GIVE him  
back.  
  
Any other mentionings of anything trademarked or copyrighted or whatever are owned by whoever  
owns them. I don't claim to own them. Well, unless I mention a Coke can. I have a lot of  
those.  
  
All the other characters, including Brick, Eddie, Evan, Morrigan, Mandy, and especially  
Tasha, are mine. You can't have them. I doubt you'd want them, anyway.  
  
So here is my lame attempt at an X-Men Universe fic. It'd be fanfiction, but its mostly  
about my own chracters. Well and ripping on cannon characters. ;p  
  
I never said it was a good story.  
  
- - - -  
  
Cynapse Production Presents..  
The misadventures of a group of weirdos by Pred [pred@the-pred.net]  
  
The Bomb Squad  
  
- - - -  
  
Episode One: The Non-X-Men  
- Summary: Tasha gets an idea, and lots of food is eaten.  
  
- - - -  
  
But first, a bit of backstory! Just to keep you from going "The hell?" after the first few  
lines.  
  
First off, this may be the X-Men universe, but that doesn't mean I haven't warped it any.  
Screw continuity, I always say ;p I can't really tell you where this all takes place in the  
timeline because, quite frankly, I lose track of the current timeline a lot. Some things  
you ought to know, though, are in order.  
  
1. In this universe Master Mold is a good guy, more or less. Sentinels do more protecting  
than anything. This wasn't always true, of course, but lets just say that he got some  
emotions and Tasha played up on it. Shes weird that way. Thinking he's sexy, I mean. Also,  
this Master Mold is human sized. Tall human sized, around 6 and a half feet, and he looks  
like the cartoon version after a sevear weight loss program (he doesn't look fat) and his  
eyes aren't as goofy looking.  
  
2. Oh yea, hes married to Tasha, I did mention she was weird, right?  
  
3. Magneto is an enemy of the X-Men. This will be important later.  
  
If I think of anymore to add to this list later, they will be included in future episodes.  
  
This ends or chunk of backstory. Now back to our regurly scheduled fic.  
  
- - - -  
  
"Duuuuuuuude..."  
  
Master Mold, otherwise known as Mazzie by Tasha only, looked up, with that sinking feeling  
most people got when Tasha said "dude" in that tone of voice. It usually ment she had an  
idea. A bad one.  
  
"I just got this totally cool idea!" she said excitedly, nearly knocking him over as she  
pounced him. "Oh oh oh!"  
  
He shook off the immideate feeling of impending doom. "No," He said, flatly.  
  
"But its really cool..,"  
  
"No!" he said, strenghtening his argument.  
  
She pouted, then grinned. He didn't like that grin. "Well then I just wont tell you and I'll  
do it anyway!" she smirked.  
  
Rolling his eyes, he resigned himself to his fate. "Arlight, whats your idea THIS time."  
  
Her face lit up triumphantly. "OK here's what I'm thinking.. You know how the X-Men have  
like a zillion members?" he grimmaced and nodded, "OK well how about I start my OWN mutant  
team?!"  
  
Oh no, that wasn't good. "Nevermind, I take it back. My answer is again 'No'." Tasha leading  
a groupd of her friends around could never be a good thing.  
  
Tasha's face fell. "But its such a cool idea.."  
  
"No, I mean it."  
  
Her eyes started to get all big and watery..  
  
- - - -  
  
The assembled group looked like a bunch of rejects from some hacker movie. Well...a few of  
them did. The rest looked like varying degrees of 'weird'. And I don't just mean the ones  
with obvious mutations, either.  
  
The tallest, and probably the most goth looking of the group, was only known as Brick. That  
was his mutation, you see....Brickknesis....he threw bricks, and other building materials  
made of rock, with his mind. Not a BAD lot to have drawn, but when it had manifested he  
decided going back to that school might not be a great idea. The fact that it was more of a  
large mound than a building now had nothing to do with it. He stood at least 7 foot, not  
including the huge boots, and was pretty thin, but muscular looking. And wore all back. We  
mean all black. Even eyemakeup..  
  
Standing next to him, and looking anxious, was his best friend, Eddie. Eddie was almost the  
polar opposite of the taller kid. Eddie was short, at least 4 foot when wearing shoes, and  
extreamly nervous all of the time. He wore more of a nerd trying to look goth ensemble. He  
was fine until you threw in the white labcoat over it all, then he kind of lost the look.  
Eddie's mutation was probably the most useless in any kind of a fight. He grew plants. Not  
even large spectacular vines to wrap villans up in. Just small plants. But his tomatoes  
kicked so much ass..  
  
On the other side of Brick was at least the loudest member of the group. And that wasn't  
even his power, he was just natureally annoying. Evan was probably the most irritating  
person you could ever meet. He liked to talk, loudly, and had nothing even remotely  
resembling tact. His only redeeming quality being his mutation. He was a healer. Well, he  
could heal you if you could stand his irritating chatter while he did it. Other than his  
mouth, his only remarkable quality was the fact he had pure white hair, with one bright  
green streak running through it. The hair was natural. The green streak wasn't.  
  
Next to Evan was the biggest member. Morrigan was at least as wide as she was tall, that  
being around 5 foot four. And as per her personality, was busy stuffing her face with  
peeps and chattering wildly to Evan in her strained but hyper souding voice. Her mutation  
was probably the best when it came to fighting. She could extend bone spikes all over her  
body and shoot them. Her only complaint was that it always messed up her clothes, so she'd  
had a special outfit made. She really didn't look very nice in holy leather, but it worked.  
  
The last member of the group was standing in front of the rest. If it wasn't for her outfit,  
white long-sleeved spandex top, and black spandex pants, or her skin tone, purple, or her  
hair, orange, you'd have thought she was a soldier standing at attention. Her back was  
straight, arms at her sides, and her chin was held up high. Really the only reason she stood  
that way was because if she slounched, her body tended to go all gooey. To Mandy, being a  
shapeshifter was many things, but easy it was not.  
  
Tasha was standing in front of them, facing them, with a self-satisfied look on her face.  
Master Mold was nowhere to be found, business trip he'd said, when really he was just  
fleeing for safety. Being around small groups of adolesent mutants bothered him. And it  
wasn't because of him being the Master Sentinel, it was more because the last time Tasha's  
friends were over, he ended up being the target of an impromptu game of "Evil Band of Mutants  
Attacking Good Guy Mazzie." Tasha swore it wasn't her idea.  
  
Tasha, for once, was probably the most sane looking person in the room. Well if you dismissed  
the hot pink cammo pants and the shirt that had a big X-Men symbol on the front and the  
words "Not an X-Man" on the back. It was her favorite shirt. Her hair had been wrestled into  
a huge thick braid with tufts of hair sticking out at strategic points. It should be known  
that, all though Tasha was horrible at doing her hair, Master Mold (who had braided it) was  
most likely worse. But it kept it out of her face. So it was good. Tasha's mutation was at  
least semi-useful. She could control electricity. She could also make electricity if she ate  
a lot of food. Her metabolism was variable, the more she ate, the faster her metabolism. And  
if she didn't discharge the extra energy as electricity she was VERY hyper.  
  
"Hey all! Glad you guys could make it!"  
  
"We have nothing better to do." Brick sniffed slightly. "And that better be chocolate cake I  
smell."  
  
Tasha grinned. The one sure-fire way to get a group like this together was to offer food.  
Especially food with sugar in it. Especially food with sugar and chocolate in it. "Don't  
worry, talk first, food in a bit."  
  
"You guys are all here cause I decided that the X-Men shouldn't be having all the crime  
fighting and superheroing fun. So we're gunna make a mutant team! Isn't it such a cool idea?"  
  
Morrigan made a rude noise. "He probably argued at least an hour with you."  
  
"Nah, a half hour. I did the Bambi eyes thing." Master Mold was a sucker for the Bambi eyes  
thing.  
  
"Aha."  
  
"Food now?" Tasha had to leap out of the way as the 5 mutants thundered towards the table  
that was full of junk food. Tasha made a mental note to never stand between them and food  
again.  
  
After much face-stuffing and burping later, six mutants were sacked out in front of the T.V.  
watching the Evening News.  
  
Then Evan had a thought. It was a pretty good thought, which was increadable in its self, and  
it had nothing to do with swear words or unusual sexual practices. He voiced his thought  
with as much calmness as he was capable of. The others didn't even have to clap their hands  
over their ears. "We need a name for our team!"  
  
Tasha had never thought of that. Teams of mutants always had names, you see. The fact that  
most of them included "X" was kind of disturbing. She was about to point that particular fact  
out when Eddie piped up with, "How about the Non-X-Men?"  
  
Tasha made a face and Eddie sunk into his seat. "Sorry.."  
  
Brick rasied one cole black eyebrow, noteable only because his natural haircolour was  
actually light brown. "We can't be connected to the X-Men. Not only because we AREN'T X-Men  
but also for our own state of mind."  
  
"He's right," Mandy said, stiffly. "We need an original name."  
  
Evan suddenly got a wild light to his eyes. "How about the Bomb Squad!"  
  
All eyes turned to him. Then they all looked at eachother.  
  
"You know, that ain't half bad." Tasha said, a little surprised that Evan had actually  
thought of something that wasn't vulgar. "You guys like it?"  
  
There was a slow nodding all around. "Alright. Bomb Squad it is."  
  
"Don't we need nifty hero costumes first, though?" That Eddie, always thinking.  
  
Of course, at the mentioning of getting to dress up weird, all six mutants squealed  
and darted off to their homes or wherever, to find suitable tight spandex outfits for the  
occasion.  
  
Brick remained. "I Like my outfit." But Eddie came skidding back in, and speaking to him in a  
fast voice, and convinced him to join in on the dress-up fun.  
  
- - - -  
  
After everyone had returned the next day, they gladly changed into their new 'hero costumes'  
to compair. Now they looked less like a group of weirdos and more like a group of weirdos in  
funny costumes.  
  
Most had also dismissed the idea of spandex. It was tight and sucked when you were sweaty.  
Mandy liked her spandex though. It kept her packed in, which was a definite plus. And since  
she seemed to never sweat, worked out great for her. The fact that her full spandex catsuit,  
complete with hood and a hole for her hair to poke out in a ponytail through, was GREEN  
attested to the fact that Mandy had no fashion sense whatsoever. The fact that her costume  
also appeared to be a size too small didn't help any.  
  
Brick and Morrigan were the only two that hadn't changed their outfits much. Morrigan having  
not changed hers at all, since it was tight leather and made to accomidate her mutation was  
part of it, the other part was because she didn't want to have a new outfit made. Brick on  
the other hand had decided to switch from an all black outfit of T-shirt, slacks, boots,  
and trenchcoat, to an all black outfit of shiny rave shirt, leather pants, boots, and  
trenchcoat. It was at least a slight change. He'd even found some steel-toed boots, too.  
  
Evan had settled for the 'schitzoid mutant look' and was wearing a purple, yes purple, 3  
piece suit, with a neon green tie to match his streak. He'd even found some neon green dress  
shoes. Spraypaint was suspected.  
  
Eddie's outfit was cliche. A dark green bodysuit (lycra, as in, baithing suit material), with  
lighter green "undies" and cape. A utility belt holding, among other things, a garden shovel,  
a PDA, and the largest bottle of OFF on record, topped off the whole disturbing outfit.  
  
Tasha was the only other person to choose spandex. Mostly because many a man had been known  
to get a nosebleed after seeing her in something tight. The fact that she vaguely resembled  
a Prime Sentinel had nothing to do with anything. She had on a black bodysuit with purple  
elbow-length gloves, and knee-high boots. The look was completed with a purple belt.  
  
They were young. They were ready to kick ass. And they looked goofy as all hell. Almost  
Perfect, but we forgot one thing..  
  
"Of course you realize we also need Superhero names too." Everyone glared at Morrigan. "Well  
we do!"  
  
Tasha sighed. Maybe this idea wasn't so great after all. "OK unfortuneatly she has a point.  
So I guess we all need to come up with silly names now."  
  
There was a round of groans, mixed in with 'I can't THINK of a name's. Well except from Brick  
since he already had a nickname that worked just fine as a superhero name.  
  
Tasha pondered this for a second. "OK, we'll help eachother come UP with names then."  
  
Evan waved his hand. "I already have a name!"  
  
Raising an eyebrow, Tasha asked what.  
  
"Pimpdaddy!"  
  
The chourus of "NO!" was deafening.  
  
Now to save you from a huge debate over superhero names and much name-calling that had  
nothing even remotely to do with superhero names I'll just tell you what everyone decided on  
and we can all rest peacefully.  
  
Evan finally settled on "Miracle Man" since his power was healing and it was at least ten  
times better than "The Healer" which was mentioned by Eddie about two seconds before he got  
smacked by anyone close enough to him.  
  
Mandy, after much debating with Tasha, decided against "Shifter" as Tasha thought it made  
her sound like some sort of hooker. Instead she gave up and let Eddie call her  
"Changeling".  
  
Morrigan insisted on calling herself "Spike". And she was NOT going to let them make her  
change it. Its a well known fact that she's very stubborn.  
  
Eddie was not allowed to name himself, since his ideas were always either cliche or very  
boring. After a few mintes of argument, Brick offered "Spurt", after Evan had mentioned that  
it sounded rather perverted, it was decided it was perfect. Eddie was emberrased.  
  
When everyone was done making up their names, they'd realized Tasha still didn't have one.  
Evan was about to make a remark when Tasha spoke up. "I've got a Superhero name already."  
  
"You do not." Eddie was bound and determined to give Tasha a stupid name.  
  
"Uh huuuuuuh....my name is Tasha."  
  
"You can't use that! Thats your real name!"  
  
"Yea but I'm already a well-known Superhero!"  
  
"Breaking up FoH rallies with a group of Sentinels and stealing all their food doesn't  
count as Superheroing." Morrigan pointed out.  
  
"Yea but I'm still well-known. So I'm keeping my name."  
  
"Alright, can we quit fussing and go eat already?"  
  
"Dressed up like this?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
And so, they left for Burgerking dressed up in silly costumes. The only mentionable thing  
is that they scared the other patrons off. You'd be scared off too if you saw six mutants  
in weird costumes entering the restaraunt, wouldn't you?  
  
- - - -  
  
Next Episode! Our fearless group goes on a mission, and we found out just how annoying  
a hyper Tasha can be! Tune in for Episode Two: Operation CandySnacks!!!  
  
- - - -  
  
And now, the "OH YEA!" space!  
  
A pic of Tasha and Master Mold, if you don't mind a little well-hidden nudity and you don't  
think Tasha is REAL weird, can be found at  
http://www.the-pred.net/pix/CG/Tasha-and-Master-Mold.gif  
  
My weird webpage can be found at  
http://www.the-pred.net/  
  
You can email me at  
pred@the-pred.net  
  
And you can find all sorts of nifty (and better) X-Men ficcies at  
http://www.subreality.com/cfan.htm  
  
Thanks for reading! ^_^ 


End file.
